Too Many Questions

I might have a bit of an Ego

But I think it's for the right reasons

I try to make amends by white knuckling life, scheming for better outcomes, and cheating destiny

Or being destiny?

I can no longer tell

I might be a bit of a Narcissist

Just remember I'm another facet of a Creator gone fucking mad

I'm doing my best

Is that an illusion?

Am I still just an unconscious puppet of my Subconscious?

How can I truly know?

Maybe my attempts are fruitless

Maybe I'm just another cringe fest

Confusing themselves for a Hero

Where is my self awareness?

Do I have too much or not enough of it?

Does the question answer itself?

Am I just another snake eating its own tail?

I feel like social interaction is a fun house

And my reflection keeps getting distorted

It's a game and I was never good at chess

Everyone wants to play and I keep flipping the board

On purpose and by mistake

But that's just faulty DNA

Everyone believes in eugenics until their own genes are at stake

Now I don't know where I stand

I'm back to the drawing board, trying to figure out my own plans

Instead of everyone else's agendas against me

Real or imagined

Destructive or supportive

Either way I'm moving forward

Accepting my shortcomings as much as my blind spots

That's the idea anyway

Embracing the shadow is hard

When the light doesn't understand dark

I'll do my best

Or at least try to

Untitled

I see wounds turn into scars turn into goblins

I hear pleas turn into screams turn into echoes from long lost memories

I feel my heart pound in response to lies and truths alike

And now instead of being frantic I've learned the stoic fight

I know this soldier is me because it simply had to be

I see resonance, I see smiles, I witness eyes lighting up

I hear laughter and kind words and humorous stories being told

I feel...almost a sense of ease follow the tension

Close to letting go of apprehensions

Temporarily

I know there is hope because I've experienced beauty boldy declared in silence and in notes

I see words, I hear feelings, and I feel what hasn't been spoken

I am shadow, I am suppression, I am you

Free, whole, and unbroken