Nostalgia

 Even though we become layered and forgetful

The same life we began with resides in us until our last thoughts burn out

Mine began two and a half decades ago

Like the terpenes emanating from sugar pines

It stays with me, evergreen 

It is the swamp cooler still humming steadily in my family's house all those summers I came to visit

The wraparound deck outlooking the mountains that the moon would slowly disappear behind on clear nights

And the air had a consciousness and quality no other place had

It's not quite vacant

It is the flavor of vanilla soft serve ice cream

Before it evolved into frozen sugar

Or before I slowly stopped picking up on the subtleties 

The distant parts of me

That life inside of me sounds like Maroon 5 playing on the car radio

Taking us up into the winding roads of the San Pablo hills

Where I would climb the backyard tree

Into the tallest branches that would hold me

Without a hint of fear

My purest self remains, forever fearless, without a doubt

In the place where life would invite me to smile

And I would burst into hysterical laughter

I'd always hear silence ringing in my ears

When I spent time alone in my grandma's attic

Watching dust floating, caught up in the sunbeams

Telling stories that came to pass

Everything was vivid with a novelty I can't describe

Still, the best way to experience nostalgia

Is within your mind