Speechless

 You wonder why I keep to myself

Maybe it’s because giving of myself used to deplete me every time I ran out

And I was left putting my own pieces together with no help

And by the end of it some of them were yours

Because I couldn’t find the original components anymore

Maybe you stole them while I was too busy trying to fix you

Maybe you still have them, maybe you’re making mosaics. 

You all wonder why I seem so god damn uninterested 

Why warm and inviting left with age 15 

And lukewarm became pale dead at 23

Maybe it’s because the ice grew with every hateful word, every cold silence

Every judgment and persecution assigned to me for being human

Just not in the way you wanted me to be

But the good news is…

You set me free. Every single one of you who

Reveled in my sickness and fed on my confusion like parasites

Even the ones who turned a blind eye to my suffering

You wanted me crippled and low so you could climb on my back like a stepping stone

So you could stake out my grave as your new home

But all you taught me

Was how to survive, how to rise, and how to fly on my own

One day metamorphosis will be mine

And unlike all of your fake transitions into carbon copied existence

It’ll be effortless,well earned, and authentic 

Because I won’t need to glue wings to my back to impress anybody

Your shunning, stunning, and ignorant bliss will be my chrysalis

And what emerges at the end of it all

 Will leave you 

                                         S….p…..e 

                                                             e

                                                                   c   

                                                                        h        

                                                                                     less.