You wonder why I keep to myself
Maybe it’s because giving of myself used to deplete me every time I ran out
And I was left putting my own pieces together with no help
And by the end of it some of them were yours
Because I couldn’t find the original components anymore
Maybe you stole them while I was too busy trying to fix you
Maybe you still have them, maybe you’re making mosaics.
You all wonder why I seem so god damn uninterested
Why warm and inviting left with age 15
And lukewarm became pale dead at 23
Maybe it’s because the ice grew with every hateful word, every cold silence
Every judgment and persecution assigned to me for being human
Just not in the way you wanted me to be
But the good news is…
You set me free. Every single one of you who
Reveled in my sickness and fed on my confusion like parasites
Even the ones who turned a blind eye to my suffering
You wanted me crippled and low so you could climb on my back like a stepping stone
So you could stake out my grave as your new home
But all you taught me
Was how to survive, how to rise, and how to fly on my own
One day metamorphosis will be mine
And unlike all of your fake transitions into carbon copied existence
It’ll be effortless,well earned, and authentic
Because I won’t need to glue wings to my back to impress anybody
Your shunning, stunning, and ignorant bliss will be my chrysalis
And what emerges at the end of it all
Will leave you
S….p…..e
e
c
h
less.
